this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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