who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize