I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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