You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
