Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I want to stick my p in your. b.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
