it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
