I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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