Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
