how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We just shotgunned beers for America
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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