That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
