I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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