I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
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