He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
