youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
