I just pynch a tree in the face
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize