I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
