She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
