She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
