I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
