she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
My cat gives me a boner
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
