This girl is more easily done than said...
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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