yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
