Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
