Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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