All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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