Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
