Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
