Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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