NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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