No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
