TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you win again, gameday.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
