She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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