I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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