One girl and one boy is just not enough.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I want a musical about memes.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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