haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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