im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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