did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize