fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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