My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
