did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
