apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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