...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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