that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Randomize
