I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
