she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
