I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
