The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
