There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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