spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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