Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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