I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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