Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
