Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
