we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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