I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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