She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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