Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
