Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
