you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
