So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
