I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
