I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
