You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
