it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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